By The Plain White Pillar

The End Of School Education

2006-11-25T18:15:00.000+08:00

I am not in much of a mood to tell long story about my journey through 13 years of school education. 13 years in the same family of schools. 11 years in the same sport. I don't want to tell all the nostalgic and sentimental crap of failed test, humiliating scoldings, changing mindsets and achievements. It's nicer to keep in the beck of my mind as priceless memories, and move ahead to new history.

All I want to say is..It was fun. I met alot of good people. I hope I have not made any enemies out there. Fish are our friends. I'm so glad for all the wonderful classes I've studied in. They were fun and bonded, mostly. But, even though 05A11 was not really bonded, it was still fun and full of wonderful wonderful people, and I wish them all the best in their endevours in University(local and overseas), and NS(for the macho guys).

I'm tired.

I will update again next time. Oh and the photos will be uploaded SOOOOOOON. Patience ok.

Minor Update: The Weekend

2006-11-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Well, I have gone for a long time. So, I was thinking that there were stuff that I missed out over the last week or so, apart from the papers. Then, it came back to me.

I caught Flushed Away with Siti on Friday night after Lit P8. It was a funny cartoon, I like Le Frog(the French one). The cinema was not crowded at all. It was at Toa Payoh Entertainment Centre. Apart from Lido, we catch a lot of movies there because it is usually pretty easy to get seats there. No need for advanced planning. It works best for spontaenous/cannot-make-up-our-minds type of people like us. It was a really nice evening with her. She was laughing damn loudly, and she found Hugh Jackman the mouse, HOT. The guy himself is HOTTER(to her). I've been replaced. Oh the misery, the misery.

Saturday was study day with Siti. The night was fun. I came home really late. Wanted to avoid the crowded house because my Bro had his Hari Raya Open House. At least, when I was there I got to take this photo...

Yes girls, it is mr Batisah. Didn't I say he was my brother's friend. I was not lying. Anyway, didn't really talk to him because he left. Hung out with some other friends. Started sharing ghost stories and watch an exorcism in Indonesia, and some scary Indonesian ghost show called Entiti. Malaysian ghost stories are the freaking scariest man. Well, it's a good thing the place was quite brightly lit when we were talking. Haha..The scary cat side of me talking. I finally went to bed at around 3am when most of the people left. It was an eventful day.

Sunday morning was spent in the quiet space of the national library at Bugis. The restrictions there are getting downright ridiculous. I could understand when they didn't allow outside books and bags inside the reference library, but they didn't allow me to bring in my notes which I needed to refer with the books there. Then, it got even more ridiculous when they haad to check my pencil case and told me to bring in only a pen, pencil and eraser. Nothing else. Like, the restrictions there are really annoying but, I can't blame the security officers. They're just following procedure. Anyway, I was not too agitated by it because I had to get some reading done for Singapore history. After which, I met Siti, and her mum and bro at Parkway Parade. I swear her mum does not like me. I cannot explain it. I just sense the "I don't like you" vibe. Maybe because I'm not very good in speaking Malay, and Siti's family is Malay-speaking. Nevermind, it was scary. Her brother accompanied us to study but, I was dead tired from the late night the day before and the Mac Cafe were playing one love song after another which made me very distracted. But it's always nice to be around Siti. She is such a livewire. It's been fun.

That's my enjoyable weekend. I think I have done enough updating for the night.

Happily Attached.

2006-11-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

It's become a habit to keep count. Even Siti forgot that today was our 28th month anniversary.

Siti.Ganja.Snabs.Nur.Darling,
Like I told you before...I want to make our relationship stronger and better, and even more fulfilling than it already is. I want to be your pillar emotionally/spiritually/physically and all the -ally there is. And, it's good to know that we're going to try and be even more honest and open about our feelings and thoughts to each other. I know i'm not really the mushy, sappy, lovey-dovey kind of guy, but you know that when I say I love you, I really do. Thank you for all the patience and strength and love you have given to me especially during this important and definitive spell of our lives. I wish to count many many many more months of being Happily Attached to you.

I miss you

Paper, What Paper?

2006-11-22T22:18:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I had three days to prepare for my last paper. But, I just blew two of it away. So much for making the most of the time given to you. I am already in my post A Level mode. Here's a simple timeline of my last two day...

10am:
I wake up to a bright new morning. Expectations for the day, cover one book. Scratch my bum bum and switch on the tv. (As you may already know, I sleep on the couch. So, the TV is just there to be switched on.) I sit there, clicking away on the remote finding a good show to watch.

1130am:
I'm getting hungry. I get off my lazy, itchy ass and wash my hands to make breakfast. Making breakfast is quicker when I have my aunt around. Sometime she's busy, so I do it myself.

Noon:
I plonk on the couch again. Sandwich in hand. I click away on the remote again. Afternoon programmes are such a bore.

1pm:
I switch on my playstation. Fifa Street 2 is in. I tell myself, just one hour....

3pm:
I tell myself just another half an hour.

430pm:
I have lost my mojo for playing. I take my "morning" bath. I know you think it is gross, but i'm sitting at home alone. I'm damn lazy to take a bath. I'm not going out or meeting anyone. Hey, I am saving the environment too. That's what I learnt from the MTV European Awards 2006(one of the many shows I watched).

5pm:
I have my "lunch" in front of the telly. I click away at the remote. Evening shows are worst than afternoon shows.

Time flies away doing God knows what....

Night:
I realised I have not done a single thing. But, it's 1030pm already. I say, I'll do it tomorrow.

That's my procrastinating, lazy life of the last two days. Some minor changes here and there, but bottomline...NO STUDYING. I know I'm going to pay for this in March 2007. When Jill and Mab, and Naseem and all the A11ers, Siti and her posse of girls all make it to the University. I'm going to be sweating to get by. But, it's not like I've never been here before. I have lots of times, so I'm contented. There is a tomorrow.

To Sum Up.

2006-11-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

I was right. It was going to end sooner than I thought it would. A small part of me wished it did not have to be that way. Just make those 3 hours of papers seem a little bit longer. A little bit more chance to finish what I started. I did not what it to be this way. Yes, my "slow but continuous" writing style continued and of course, not one of my 15essays(not including DRQ and Case Study) had a conclusion. Some had barely an evaluative counter-argument. Am I worried? Hell yeah, I am. I've only one last paper left, how much difference can that do? It's only a third of the total Literature marks. Am I giving up? Hell no! I'm not a quitter. I am a slacker, but not a quitter. I'm just going to end it as best as I can.

Well, the papers were mostly unexpected. 5 Singapore economics essays. Nothing from China for econs. Context from the beginning of the Lit Paper 1 books. Crisis of Communism in China and Post-1991 explanations. No Singapore riots. No Political theme. I think this is Cambridge's way of having a GOOD LAUGH. Ha Ha to you, you fucking sods. It makes you wonder what the fuck is the point of studying. Everything is down to luck. Everything is down to the fancy of those sordid buggers in Merry Schmerry England. Yeah, I know we should study everything. But, c'mon China was suppose to be an important economic study which was at 90% sure to come out, but 10% prevailed. AND, Crisis in China has come out two fucking years ON THE FUCKING TROT, it still comes out this year. Stupid shit. I'm a lucky fucker to have studied just a couple of hours before the paper or I'm a goner for sure.

It's just 37 more hours left till it's finally over and done with. So goodbye to this "dope shit" called A levels for good. I'm never going back down this road again. Well, I don't have a choice anyway. So on Friday, at 1110am, it's so long and goodbye to my Academic life in SAJC.

Like what Alex said, "Our three years in SAJC feels like two years."
It's just too quick to be true.

The Magical Half Century (Of Entries).

2006-11-12T15:14:00.000+08:00

And so, I took the red pill. Unfortunate? Probably it is but I'm not regretting it. I'm just doing what I can. Well, not right now though. Taking a short intermission. I'm finishing up Merchant's Tale already. I'm left with the garden scenes including the one where Mayus gets thronged by horny and so not-romantic Damyan. I also have the argument between Proserpina and Pluto to discuss. Exciting.

However, if you think wah.. He's done so much already. You're sorely mistaken. I have not memorised the quotes for Merchant's Tale and bitch that is Middle English. I do not intend to remember too many quotes regarding Silas Marner and Othello. Shows the gambles I'm making. I will report to you how the paper turns out and if my gamble was a rish I SHOULD NOT HAVE taken. Gosh...I hope I do not have to utter those words. All the shoulda coulda wouldas.

Last 12 days of my table looking like so...

I'm grateful for the speakers which my iPod is docked on right now. It's churning out music to drown the monotony. I have a camel and a toad on the table to keep my company. The toad has been my friend since back in Primary School. It's seen me study for all the major papers right from PSLE till now, the A Levels. How cool? My best friend. I have my armband which serves to remind of responsibility as an individual and my mates, and Family. Important trophies tell me I can do it. It shows that I have done something elsewhere and I can do it here too. Large piles of papers screams to me loud and clear that I have lots more to cover. It's going to over quicker than I think.

Long Night or Short Night?

2006-11-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

Take the blue pill and you will spend the rest of the night studying Literature.
Take the red pill and you will sleep to regret in the morning.

The decision is yours.

I am human. I am concerned about my results after all. I am stressing over the upcoming week. I do care! A wee bit late considering I have a ton left to do for Chaucer and Silas Marner. I don't know if I can cover them all. I had an ambitiious plan to stay up through the night toiling away with the texts. But, I'm feeling a little bit tired. A little bit weary. A little bit sleepy. Oh God, Help me!

If I leave it till tomorrow, will I have enough time? Two text to STUDY in one day. Not forgetting revision for Othello. This is a Procrastinators problem. We leave till the last minute and then, PANIC.

What pill should I take??

It's a really tough call. A big gamble to take the red pill yet, how much can be committed to memory if I take the blue one. I wish my assumpition that I did not know squat about the two texts are flawed but, it seems like the assumption holds true. I don't want a C for Literature. Definitely not a D or E, heaven forbid O and F! Can I really get a B by consolidating two years in a single day?

Is this going to be a Long Night or a Short Night?

ps. I got the job at the Zoo. Thank God.

Tides Push Me Away...

2006-11-11T14:08:00.000+08:00

It's down to two more days before the Hardcore week. I do not mean the porno or the metal music kind. What I mean is 6papers in 5days. That's Hardcore. It hasn't been a very productive week. It is a cause to worry. My ambitions seem further and further in the horizon, and my sails have not caught any wind. It is a huge cause to worry but, I am not going to panic. I have to make do with what I have left.

It has been awhile since I last blog. Have not been around the computer much. It's not like my days are infinitely busy mugging away. I have been doing many Other things. Such as watching John Tucker Must Die, cooking for my beloved, she cooking for me, teaching my beloved Geography even though I do not know Nuts about it(I fear for her), and watch a heck of alot of Borat. Oh..I must say the Victoria Beckham looks hot in Da Ali G Show interview. Check it out on Youtube, man.

I've been listening to lots of incubus to get into the mood for the new album. I watched their entire MTV Rock Ring concert in as Mab calls it, Norwegia(Well, I think it is there because some dude had a huge Norwegian flag). It was fun days. Too much fun for stressful times such as these. What am I doing??

Anyway, "Anna Molly" has been playing for the last week so I'm guessing you readers(if there are many) are sick to death of it. So, I decided to move away from Incubus, add a little bit of variety, and so here is Shimmy Shimmy Quarter by Hellogoodbye. It is not really mainstream music, but I like.

I think I should go wash up now. My first job interview is in an hour plus. I'm hoping to work with Ah Meng and company at Mandai Zoo. Actually, more of the monkeys who come visit the zoo. I do hope I get the job for December. (As you can see, I'm planning for Post-As already. It seems that my brain has skipped the whole A level episode.) Wish me luck, people!

If You Eat, Do Not Read

2006-11-07T16:21:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I have cravings for slurpee after I already had a brownie. We think that a brownie every morning is good enough, but as of late, it is just not suffice for my stomach. It needs a slurpee as well.

I hate it especially when the desire strikes when I board a crowded bus, with the aircon turn off. The stale air, the stuffy feeling just adds to the discomfort. Your stomach makes a point. A Huge Point. A Very Uncomfortable Point.

So, all you can do is give in and make that Slurpee as best and as quick as you can. The after-effect...Satisfaction. The feeling of intense fulfilment and relief is beyond words. It is just there to be swirled away with pleasure. With a smile on your face.

That's Good Shit, my friend.

Colorgenics

2006-11-06T10:04:00.000+08:00

You are very ambitious and because you seek and need recognition, you try in your own way to impress people and you want to be looked up to - to be both popular and admired. You feel that there is a gap which separates you from your fellow man, or woman as the case may be, but this anxiety is an unnecessary one. Keep on the way you are going and you may surprise yourself.

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.

You feel that you must have co-operation from those close to you before the existing stressful situation can be improved. You feel that no-one understands you and this lack of understanding and appreciation makes you feel completely isolated. You need that feeling of security and would like to get away from what you now consider depressing shackles. You have that need to re-establish your own individuality but your sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for you to let go - to open up, but the way that you are feeling at this time makes you feel that 'Enough is enough' and you are prepared to give in. This disturbs you as you feel that this attitude is an obvious sign of weakness - an attitude to be overcome and so in spite of this situation you feel that in order to assert your own individuality you need to continue to practice self-restraint.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

Interesting shite, mate! This is so true, man.

Pistola

2006-11-06T02:29:00.000+08:00

Pistola(Live in Bourges, France)

Yes, more Incubus. I did say I was an avid fan.

My intention a bullet, my body a trigger finger
Yeah, my pen is a Pistola

Well, I could not take anymore Marner. It was just too much to handle. So I decided to let off some steam. No, I do not mean by watching porn, nor do I jerk off watching this guys. I'm not gay, although I do not have anything against gays. But, I just needed to get my mind off Literature. It's driving me nuts.

Cafe studying at Coffeebean was pretty good. The ice-blended coffee there is not really my cup of (caffeine). I still love the espresso frappucino at Starbucks because it gives that zing that keeps you awake, if you know what I mean. And it was rather noisy but hey, it is after all a place to chit chat and gossip right? However, I must admit there was nothing interesting going on there. No weirdos. No funny behaviour. No material to comment on. Haha...I sound like some sadistic fcuker on the hunt for other people's humiliation. But, I'm not! I'm harmless. Just there was nothing fun to talk about. Could be perhaps I was so engross in the Tale of the Weaver that I did not notice anything worthy for comment...Yeah Right!

At least, I did have an adventure. Adding to my list of just visited makan places is Simpang Bedok. I went there with Siti for dinner. The Kachang Pool was pretty good, I must say. Although, it is pretty hard to judge because I can't remember the last time I ate it. It makes me want to get my damn license so that I can prowl the dark streets hunting for more good food. It makes me regret not taking my license earlier this year when my mum and bro urged me to do so. So much for I want to study first. That crap was so textbook goody-boy, which is so not true! I guess, now, I have to stick to those damn SBS buses to travel, with the little leg room and pushy, fcuking obnoxious/kiasu commuters. And, I just realised I'm going to kiss bye bye to Student concessions soon. I'm growing up and growing up fast.

What a bitch!

Yeah, My Pen Is A PISTOLA

Enjoy Incubus

2006-11-04T10:48:00.000+08:00

For All You Incubus Fans Out There

28th November 2006. Mark your calender, guys.

(Note: Please Scroll down to turn off the player before you tune in to the video. Thank you)

The music you are currently bobbing your head to is their new single for this album. It fcuking rocks. So, if you have money to spare, spread the love. In other words, GET THE ALBUM FOR ME. No, I'm kidding I intend to get the album myself.

Yes, I'm not going to be a pirate because I love the band. And, I'm willing to fork out cash for them. They always bring good, no that's an injustice and a cruel understatement. They always bring fcuking rocking good music.

Enjoy Incubus.
And Don't Forget Twenty-Eighth November, Twenty-O-Six.

This is An Experience

2006-11-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

I know I said I'll be gone till the end of As. But, the morning of the first blasted paper got me thinking. If this is my one and only shot at taking the stupid exam called the A levels, I should be blogging about the experience. The emotions, the tiresome hours, the agitation, and not forgetting the crazy-blank-zonked-out feeling when you've been doing nothing but study the same subject for hours and hours at a time.

Thus, here I am. Two days late, what's new. I am Melayu.

General Paper was not as nerve-wrecking for me as compared to my fellow peers or as I would like to call them my fellow brothers/sisters-at-war. Some of my fellow warriors were looking like bus and train wrecks before/during/after the paper. i guess the best advise I can say that you panic and get scared because you Care. There's no wrong in care, but do know your limits, and don't self-indulge in fear. It is rather unhealthy.

However, what about me? I do not feel the fear they do. I do not panic like they do. Hell, I was happily playing Fifa 2007 the afternoon before the paper. Does this mean I do not care? I slept like a log the night before. My fear was that I would wake up late, skip prayers and pay dearly for it. Fortunately, that was not the case. Yet, I do Care. I just haven't shown in a physical form. I guess it's partly a gift from God that he has kept me calm through such trials of life. I must be grateful for this.

Life after General Paper has been dull to say the least. What do you expect? It's the season that I signed up for since I received my O Level results 3 years ago. All I can do right now is study, pray and sleep. Although, I do add my PS2 into the mix for an hour or two to keep myself sane. Still, there is nothing much to do. This is already the second day of my last 11 days of preparation for the full swing A Level examination on the 13th November. Hence, social life and fun is a sacrifice that I should have made probably months ago, but I'm going to TRY to sacrifice it now. Better late than never, eh?

Right now, my eyes are as red as a baboon's backside. I have successfully completed an Othello marathon. Staying awake for the last 24hours with nothing but Othello on my mind. I'm getting a hang of doing the Context questions for the text. Exciting. I'm glad I went to the airport to study with Siti lsat night. Overnight studies are proof that I'm an owl because I'm so energised and pumped at night. With shots of expresso, it just keeps me going till 6am. Like clockwork, as soo as it strikes 6am, the lethargy and sinus hits and hits hard. I really should get some sleep. My next target, Silas Marner. The bastard who has no life, literally. Well, at least until he meets Eppie.

Fcuk it. Good morning...

15 Days...It's On!

2006-10-17T20:51:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Looks like I'm going to be on a temporary hiatus. I don't think I can manage updating as my timing is really tight, if I am to prepare myself for the As sufficiently. I hope to update once in a awhile. But, if I don't, be sure to come back end November for posts. Hopefully, I will upload the hundreds of photos I have from the many events that has happen over the last week or so.

But, for now, SELAMAT!

Quizzes To Stay Awake

2006-10-12T05:37:00.000+08:00

It's the final day of school and I definitely do not want to miss school although, I've only slept for two hours. Don't ask. So, after going through Liz's blog, I decided to do many many many quizzes to keep awake... I have very interesting results, which have to be honest because my mind is in no mood to think of any other answers than the most pertinent to me...

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.
You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

Your EQ is 147

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Your Extroversion Profile:

Cheerfulness: Very High

Friendliness: Very High

Sociability: Medium

Activity Level: Low

Assertiveness: Low

Excitement Seeking: Low

How Extroverted Are You?

You Are a Auditory Learner

You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well.
You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music.
You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!

What's Your Learning Style?

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream

A classic and an original, no wonder everyone snakes your style!

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

You Should Be a Musician

You have a rare combinations of talents: an ear for music, nimble fingers, and the willpower to practice.
You could master almost any instrument you choose to play (if you haven't already!)

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

You Are a Freedom Rocker!

You're stuck in the 70s - for better or worse
Crazy hair, pot soaked clothes, and tons of groupies
Your kind showed the world how to rock
Is that freedom rock?... Well turn it up man!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are 52% Slacker

You are a bit of a slacker - though you can pull it together and live a somewhat normal life.
If you're young, this is probably phase you'll outgrow. And if you're already grown up, you need to get off the couch a bit more!

Are You a Slacker?

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties
Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

2006-10-10T23:47:00.000+08:00

Ok Go!

Channel V Rocks.

Loves Channel V

2006-10-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

I must absolutely kiss the people at SCV. They have given me love. I finally can watch Channel V. The music there is better. Not much Hip-Hop trash, more guitar goodness. Thank you very much.

It's on sleepless nights you aprreciate these channels. They don't repeat the same damn video twice in a space of an hour. There is a spread. And, and, they don't have idiotic shows like Boiling Points and worst still, I Bet You Will. I think Channel V rocks.

Anyway, I have opened up a Livejournal account. You will find some random "poetry" if they can be called such there, but mostly its my private domain. I'll try to put as many poems there as I can but, that depends on my creative juices to stimulate me. Most of my very public writings will be here. So, please don't stop tagging. Don't stop reading.

Hopefully with a more private blog now, this blog will be less emo and more HAPPY :)

Moody Tuesday

2006-10-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

I am listening to Moody Monday by Damien Rice but, it is a Tuesday. I'm not doing very well, thank you.

The troubles of not sleeping I thought I left behind are resurfacing. The feelings of inadequacy and not-meant-to-be is popping up again. But, my heart is merely being honest with myself. Recall: Mind prompting with Mr Vas. Look up and left is the past. Look up and right is pictures of future. Look down is emotion speaking. I was having a conversation with myself in the bathroom. And, it occured to me that I was looking down. Does this really mean this is what my heart is really saying?

I should start being a man. Less sensitive. Less caring. Stand up for myself. Yet, it's just not in my nature. I want to be liked. I want to be friends with everyone. That means making others happy. I can't be happy because I put others ahead, can i? I've tried but it doesn't work. Teach me.

Trying to make Love work. It is so difficult. Especially when it feels we are on different frequencies. I fell in love with a facade. Is this love a facade? This is not a direct attack. It's just a moment's ponder. Can I be the same guy that I felt was quite endearing? I am not endearing. That is for sure. No longer. Just inadequate. Just different. Different goals. Different Wants. Different. But, I am hypocritical. I say that we do not have to be alike to be in love. Am I naive? I surely hope not. I'm still young. I'm learning. Another moment's ponder. When do I know when I have truly understood?

It would seem it is not possible to have expectations. We don't work well under the burden of expectations. I should not have any. Of you. Love must prevail. It's just so difficult to pour without a cup. I just end up making a mess. I don't want mess. It must remain orderly and calm at times like these. We need it. Why must it be so difficult? What is not difficult? I cannot do it. I can do it. Conflicting interests. Variety of interests. I am a hypocrite. You do not know what you want. I do not know what I want. Of this. I know what I want everywhere else, but here....

Take this with a pinch of salt. The lack of sleep is murderous. It gnaws at my strength unrelentingly. It makes me dull and emo. Take it with a pinch of salt. This is not targetting at anyone. This is not a criticism. This is Growth. My growth depends on an outcry. This is the War cry. No, this is just Cry. This is for me, not for you.

Thank you.

I think French is a beautiful language.

Happy Birthday Moosey! / The FINAL Week

2006-10-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Buddy!

The Orange Partey Brigade!

ps. I AM NOT Grabbing His Crotch.

Well, in other news, I promise myself that I will not be sentimental this week but it's tough when you know after 3 years of love and devotion to the college, 10 years of service to the Saints Hockey Teams, and 13 years in the St. Andrews Family, this is the LAST goddamn week. It's hard not to feel anything. It's hard to have a stone countenance. After 13 long years and lots and lots of shit with teachers, forging friendships within the confines of the fish-scaled architecture that defines St. Andrews Schools, this is it.

I'm not going to feel so Nostalgic and Sad.

I had my last official lesson with Mr Smith today. Even though he is not one of the teachers whom I speak often with but, he is definitely the Best Literature teacher I've ever had. I've learnt a lot from him. I've learnt much about poetry from his lessons on Boey Kim Cheng. His Irish accent and humor never fails to draw laughters. He will be missed by us, all of us including the school. I know that for sure. His journey in SAJC ends here too. He is off to greener pastures in Aussieland(if I'm not mistaken).

This is my photo of the day...

Thanks, Mr Smith!

Pointless

2006-10-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

Muthu is my best friend. He came to Singapore many odd years ago. He came in search of tea plantations but, was sorely disappointed by the country's lack of grass. So, now he works for a well-known modelling agency and is the owner of Muthu's Curry. He serves great Fish Head Curry and Cheesy Cheese prata with real cheese. The mozarella kind not the sliced cheese kind. He is a cool guy. If I am gay, it would be only 1% and it would be devoted to my friend, Muthu Muthu. And although many people make fun his very rich think Indian accent and he likes vengayol(onion in Tamil), we must not discriminate and be bogged down by such facts. We must look at the holistic overview.

Mrs Tan makes me sick of those two words, Holistic Overview. She has repeated it over a gagillion of times in the last 3 weeks of school. And a gagillion is bigger than a billion, so that is quite a lot ok. I bet by now you know nothing of what I am saying because I'm really off tangent and spouting verbal diarrhea. Diarrhea is a weird word, it's like the weird feeling that don't go away because it loves the fumes of the toilet. Don't deny yourself those wonderful fumes. Now, you look puzzleed and will be tempted to browse through my links and see who would be more interesting and relevant. I am sorry the resident Ah Lian, Lin Ying Jill who speaks in proper Engrish has abandon her engrish blog to talks in her haix manner again and have gone of to get her AAA for the A Levels because it looks cool. She goes home two minutes after school has ended and eats a pig load before she mugs relentlessly till the Korean men come home. Such an exciting life. I wish I had the biting sarcasm of Mrs Ram and the expression of a Desiree or, Mr Yoong because they are my figures of admiration. I would very much like to be able to articulate myself without sounding like a mat from under the block. And, Mab will start to look with intent but have her notes readily in hand to mug for three As. Lofty heights for tiny girls but they'll make it. I, on the other hand, am bloggin at 10pm at night to pass the time away before I play my PS2 until the dead of the morning and wake up zombified for sahur and to feel the hyper rush in school being around two people who have perpetual laughter spasm named Musa and Jael, who look compatible together but ARE NOT TOGETHER. They are going to put ice cubes in my shirt and pinch me because they see sweaty guys and crazy boys. (Oh no...) The last few days in school is fantastic.

Ganja make me go in circles. It's like that sugarbabe song. Round round. They are very round. Ok, maybe Angelina Jolie and Beyonce. So round. Ganja isn't round. If you call her that I will smack you with muthu's prata. So, I think Ganja is hotter than Furanda or however you smell her name. I mean, spell. Ganja is Top Model material. C'mon. Look at the pictures man. Tyra, open your big ass eyes. Ganja is a hottie. I am lucky and Muthu is jealous. Too bad. One day, Ganja will go to Australia with me to sit under the many many stars which you can play connect the dots and make bears and other funny star constellations. And, we'll sit by the beach with the many many sea gull prints in the long stretch of sand, and imagine me being eaten up by the sea monster but i will wear a bikini and look sexy because she's the man in the relationship. Interesting. I want to smoke Ganja with Ganja but it is illegal and against Islam so what if we light Ganja incense and close all the windows are we still breaking the law? Please tell me if you know the answer. I love to hold Ganja close to me because Ganja makes me high. But, even when I'm high i will not walk away from $50million dollars like Dave Chappele. But he is a funny twisted guy who knows when people laugh with him and laugh at him. I watch Oprah at 430am and think she is hypocritical. I want more Ganja. Slap me some.

If you are puzzled and lost but still reading this, I commend you. You have braved a torrent of meaningless words with an end but yet, the end of the meaning is meaningless. Boey's philosophies are as confusing as wearing a bra. But, I commend you for reading thus far. It is amazing that despite the title, and the body and now, my conclusion you have continued to read on. It speaks well of you because the title has given a sense of what the passage is about and you have created a big picture of meaningless nothings. Fantastico.

Muthu-Muthu says, HELLO Again.

Under The Weather

2006-09-27T05:54:00.000+08:00

Pictures Of You by The Cure

I guess not many people know that I've been feeling really stressed out for quite a long time already. I've been keeping it inside and portraying a cool exterior. I did not want to seek sympathy and whatever else. I guess I've been punishing myself. The constant sickness and the lack of sleeping is really taking a toll on my body. It finally broke down on me.

I hate it when I feel so down in the dumps. So weak. So tired. It just adds more problems which makes me even more unhappy. I had my worst day in weeks today. I felt so shit and stressed out. I don't know why it just broke down all of a sudden but it did. It just makes me worried. The physical and mental state of mind is really not ideal for preparation of the A levels. Maybe I am not cut out for this. Maybe I am not one of the top 10-15% who makes it to the local university. These feelings of insecurity and worry is just compounded by my grades and my friends. They're so worried about their grades, even thosee who are getting Bs and Cs at this stage are not pleased. I am that FAR behind. And, I can't keep to my DAMN study schedule. How am I not suppose to get stressed out?

I need to be stronger. I need to get back on track. I wish I could put everything into place. Have God in my soul. Have Siti in my heart. Have work in my mind. I wish it was that simple. I want to treat Siti better than I have. I know I have not been the best to her. My exhausted state has led to much misunderstandings and awkward silences. I want to make it right.

I guess when you have a bad day, all the true emotions start to pour out. It's part of the recovery process, I guess. I really don't want to be in school just yet. I don't want to be silent and make people think I'm emo. I don't want them to leave me alone because I appear in my shell. I hate it when that happens. Have you ever felt that way? When you are most vulnerable and miserable, don't you want people around you to talk something that is more pleasant and cheerful to just get your mind of things?

I really hope that school will be ok.

ps. I'm sorry Siti for not being the best boyfriend I can be.

Wake Me Up Please

2006-09-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

Seaside by The Kooks

School was a Nazi Concentration Camp. I was literally dying from the fumes of Literature. Literature drained the life out of me. I was contemplating on sticking a toothpick/fig/matchstick in between my eyelids to prevent it from closing. But, besides the fact that I would look like a complete screw loose, I could not find any toothpick/fig/matchstick. It was pure torture. Mrs Tan has driven to sleep for two Literature Paper 1 lessons in a row. In order to remain awake, I played "silent bingo" with Mab (who was falling asleep too). However, we have a tendency to play towards the end of the lesson. The sudden jolt of awareness from the awakening of particular brain cells is therefore rendered useless. Why did I take Literature? It's sucking the puny brain I have out of me. It shows little compassion. Monsterous subject.

After school was a little bit better. Makcik from the Malay stall lend me her praying mat so that I could pray in school. I found it very refreshing and made feel good. I think I should pray more in school. It helps to not become lazy and miss prayers. Anyway, after prayers, I went to study with Musa, Jael and Smita in the library. Despite our efforts to focus, we just lacked it lah. We talked a lot of cock and, Jael and I were arguing over Boey Kim Cheng. I must concede however, studying in school when you're already sleepy and with this bunch of people is almost IMPOSSIBLE and Most UNPRODUCTIVE.

After a hearty break fast, it is time to have a nice hot shower and pray.

ps. I miss you, Ganja.

Ramadhan

2006-09-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

Waiting On The World To Change by John Mayer

The fasting month has just begun today. I love the month of Ramadhan. Everything seems a tad more peaceful. A little more calm. The quiet of the surrounding serves to help us reflect and give thanks to God. It really gives my soul the peace and calmness that it needs to grow stronger.

What better time than now? As the days wind down to the A Levels, I need this peace of soul and mind to keep me from cracking under stress. The prayers and the fast helps to bridge the gap between me and God. The peace allows me to put aside the worries of the material world and connect with my spiritual. I am not deeply religious. But at times like this I am in awe. I am grateful.

The day has been rather quiet. Everyone is at home yet, the house feels peaceful and silent. My mum is in the kitchen cooking for break fast. My sister packing her stuff in the room. My brother is fast asleep after exhausting days in Bintan. It's quiet. Listening to John Mayer's new album, Continuum just gives the peaceful, chillout vibe that I so love. The midtempo melodies and soulful lyrics just gives a nice bit of warmth and relaxation to the overall day.

I guess you can say the atmosphere is rather too relaxing. I have not started my revision as I had planned to. My timetable has already been created and it is rather daunting by the sheer volume that must be covered by the end of 6 weeks. Yet, the chilled out mood of the day just makes me want to sit down and listen to some good music. Smile and reflect the beautiful Sunday away. At times like these, I wish I lived by the seaside and the cool breeze brushing on my face. The sea is a refreshing place. Too bad I live in a concrete jungle among 12-storey flats. At least there's still a breeze.

Hope you guys are having a pleasant day.

You Are 14!

2006-09-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

Y
HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY, SIS.
Time to have a kickass adolescent life. Just don't emo so much and have Fun.

Excerpt from Boey

2006-09-23T12:08:00.000+08:00

Smith's lecture yesterday morning was one of the few lectures I paid attention in my 3 years of JC life. He was reading Boey Kim Cheng's poem, The Old Timers, and somehow I found it deeply meaningful and true. So very true. This is an excerpt from the poem, the second verse paragraph of Tramps by The River...

All along the river, skyscrapers
have ousted the old tenement blocks.
They rise higher each year, an imposing creed
of perfection, the ruthless efficiency
of children become architects, engineers,
and planners whose eyes are trained
on visions of tomorrow, missing
these lowly ones who have weighed anchor
in the backwaters and will not stir.
The piling goes on upriver, hard fists
pummelling, ordering the future into shape.
But these bent souls sleep untroubled
on makeshift beds and gathered junk.
They are no use to anyone, having lost
their names, like rusty cans and grimy bottles
with labels erased.

It spoke profoundly on me, as a Singaporean. Our quest for constant modernity and progress, change and knowledge. We are losing our culture. We are alienating those who had build this country. We push children harder with uncompromising and tougher syllabus to cope with the pressures from competition from China and India, but at what costs? We are alienating those who can keep abreast with these changes. Who are we actually helping? Our image sparkles, our reputation precedes many of our neighbours. Our lives are trapped in a suburban lifestyle of safety of conformity. We are living a loop, a country which has lost its roots and tries to build up other roots to ensure that reputation and prestige will not be forsaken. At what cost?

Kampong Gelam

2006-09-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

I have never been to a official start of the Hari Raya Bazaar, if memory serves me right. I am usually not bothered and plain lazy to go all the way to a confined area with a seriously over-supply of people walking around aimlessly. Round and round a half-filled bazaar because the stalls don't open till fasting month starts, tomorrow.

Last night, I guess was my first time. This was because I was following Ganja there, not out of sheer desire or I became fruit-loops and wanted to go there. She had just finished her Graduation Tea and her friends wanted to see the fireworks there. Naturally, when the Boss says meet us there means I must meet her there. No, I'm just kidding. It was our 26th month Anniversary and I did want to spend time with her instead of being cooped up in my very lepak house.

I stupidly took a cab to Kampong Glam because I was running late. I was stupid because I took the cab 5minutes to 8pm. If I only had taken the cab just 5minutes later, I would have saved $2. Damn peak period surcharges! Burning my wallet! I could have bought a McChicken with that $2. Anyway, as soon as I reached Raffles Hospital, I was in the Malay Village. I am Malay and I can talk about my race openly. You, on the other hand, who are not Malay, cannot comment or poke fun at anything we Malays do because the world is so racially-charged right now that even the Pope can come under attack. So, I am liberated, you are not.

Back to the story...

It was FLOOODED with Malays there lah. As soon as I got out of the cab, Melayu do what Melayu do best. Look at the face. Probably this is because Malay families are so BIG that they must check if those around them are actually related to them. That's my theory because they just keep looking. Even when I was sitting in the cab stuck by the traffic light, they will look in the cab to see lah. It's amazing.

There was a ton of motorbikes strewn across the pavements. Sort of reminded me of Malaysia. Only difference was I think Singapore motorbikes got a bit more style and modern abit lah. No disrespect to Malaysians reading this. Doubt there's many/some/any. But, seriously, you look at the majority bikes in Malaysia and you see the old school bikes with the basket in front. The colour of their bikes all faded and whatnot. Singapore bikes are all new lah. So colourful, and wide-ranging. From the bikes with the basket to the big BIG Phantoms.

Well, I met Siti at Om Cafe. I thought they were doing some yoga judging from the name but it was just a normal cafe complete with Sishas and Arab-looking waiters. Oh..I seriously thought one of the waitERs(note, MAN) was going to kiss me lah. He lean over the couch, right up to my face, bent over and reaching. His eyes burnt with desire and want for a young handsome fresh meat. Yucks!! He did lean over and ask me if I wanted any drinks or food. I guess I disappointed that nice, hairy man some pleasure when I decline his desires.

The fireworks blasted into the sky a couple of moments after we stepped out of Om Cafe. Pretty cool timing. The fireworks were rather short and limp. We took a couple(ok, two) photos by the roadside to get a shot of the Lights along the street which were just lit up. Decided to walk around the Bazaar, decided not to walk around the Bazaar because everyone was tired. Ganja parted ways with her friends. Left two of us to lepak the night away.

A cab was effing difficult to get at that Malay Zone. The streets were crowded with cars and motorbikes and people. Numerous taxis were on call and we getting pretty impatient waiting for a cab. Aunties were aggressively chasing for cabs. Ganja and I decided to be aggressive like our elders and chase down cabs. It worked! We got a cab within two minutes. Who says we can't learn from our elders, man. You a fool.

Anyway, it was a wonderful night of lights and romance with wonderful Ganja. It was nice that as soon as we got a cab, we passed by the opening concert and they shot a second round of fireworks in the sky. This time it was more colourful and longer. It was just fitting for an anniversary end. Cool beans.

That was my wonderful Friday night.

I'm Back

2006-09-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

I bet many of you were wondering what the hell happen to me? You must be thinking I had let the Prelims consume my time or I lost my mood to update yet again. But, you're wrong. You are so Wrong. I've been dying to blog but there was just something missing until....

Yes, it is my wonderful new iMac. Thanks to my brother's wonderful selling skills which convinced the seller to reduce the sale price to the barest minimum and also, convincing my mum that it was a deal worth seizing at COMEX a couple of weeks ago. It is finally finally fixed, complete with Internet. Now, I can blog happily with my plain white computer by the plain white pillar.

Gosh, almost 2 weeks have passed since I last blog. There has been much that has gone on. Chief of which is the bore of the Prelim exams. At least, that is over. And, the results are slowly coming in. I dread next week when I think all the papers would be returned. It's rather scary yet, exciting. I have been much disappointed with the results so far. I drop 11 marks/2 grades for GP. Utter disappointment which I thoroughly deserve because my Essay was done so poorly and it was incomplete(but what is new?). Moreover, the summary was not well done and I just passed my AQ. GP is so inconsistent. It's terrible and makes me sad. Such a simplistic statement. My misery was compounded further by Southeast Asia history. I knew the results would be a let-down as soon as the paper ended. It was do-able. But, I messed it up because of the lack of time(I'm getting sick of this!). The worse part was that my essays were not bad. I was averaging 16-17marks for SBQ and my first essay. But, I could not get the B I wanted to because I scored a 6/25 for the essay I did not finish. AND, she had to tell me that I was on the right track!! If I had finished the essay, I could have been that much closer to realising my dream. Yet, I must be content with my C which is a mere 55/100. Bollocks! Today, another bombshell drop. Mr Yoong said that I could have gotten a C for his paper if I had finished it but I did not because of yet again, FUCKING poor time management. A "C" for Yoong's paper is like the single greatest academic achievement, alongside the O levels lah. Well, no point crying over spilt milk. I have 6 weeks to train myself to write at optimum speed and present facts accurately to get my A for History and B for Economics and Literature. Lofty heights for a slacker like me but by God, I will Do It!

Anyway, there are other stuff that I've been up to since the end of Prelims last Friday. For example, the A12 gathering at Ah Morr's as a Farewell gathering for Zealyn too on Saturday. Going for a religious gathering at Aunty Toum's house followed by furniture shopping with Mummy at Furniture Mall followed by watching the Hockey World Cup Finals between Australia and Germany in Germany(i was at home watching the match on Cable, lah) on Sunday. Monday was an uneventful day which I just stayed home to slack but my fellow mat, Johan came over to lepak and steal music for awhile. Siti also, came to relax but she had a bad tummyache. Tuesday was Siti's post-Prelim celebration. We ate, watch Little Man, walk around, window shop, talk alot of cock and some serious stuff, had loads of fun. Yesterday was the first day back in school after the exams. First time waking up at 6am again, went to school groggy. Recieved some results. Slack with Jill and Mab alot and started talking about bras, breasts, and legs. It was also the Team SAJC Tea where the hockey guys got together again after a long while due to the Prelims and different timetables. Yes, that's about all the stuff I've been up to since after Prelims since before that I was not doing much except studying, eating and watching Jamie Oliver. He's a cool guy.

I'll try to put up some photos soon on those days soon but do be patient. I'm still getting used to a Mac. Damn this is so damn cool. Hope to hear from you guys soon. Oh...and just to jolt reality into my fellow J2 peers, 41 days to prepare for our first paper on November 2nd. Hahaha... We're into the final 6 weeks of our JC lives. Our official end of school is in 3weeks. Damn...2 years of JC(in my case and some others, 3 years) have really flown by quickly. Time to crank up those gears and end our time with A BANG!!!

What's Your Addiction?

2006-09-08T10:30:00.000+08:00

Need For Speed: Most Wanted (Black Edition)
Originally uploaded by iMatnis.

I am an addict. I love my Need For Speed: Most Wanted. I just cannot get enough of the game. The racing is exhillirating and the police chase is heart-thumping exciting. I play it every night since the holiday started. It is fun, man.

I know those muggers out there are going, "What the hell is wrong with this, dude? It's the prelims and he's acting as though this is a honeymoon holiday. Crazy bastard."

Honestly, I am well aware that I am behind my revision while you guys are far ahead. Working towards your dreams and ambitions. I have mine too. But, I am just not addicted to mugging. It's not in my blood, man. I am still a slacker by nature. I do it on my own time. I get stressed once in a while when I look at the calender or my organizer, but dude, I'm a chillout guy.

I live a dull life which I try to make exciting. It's like that one. JC2 student all no life after August. All mug like fuck. Except me(although I still live a dull, very "EXCITING" life) and the other fellow gamers/slackers/stoners/slackers/gamers out there. We study abit, play more. In the end, well I don't what is the end. Must just wait and find out.

Anyway, that wasn't why I wanted to blog this fine Friday morning. (Yes, I'm reminding myself of the day.) I wanted to talk about an addiction. I'm sure all of us have one. It has negative connotations to the word, but is it necessarily bad? Isn't our passion and loves an addiction too? Or else, why do we collect stamps? Sial lah, what age are you living in sia? Or play sports and music, draw and sculpt art? Why do we go clubbing on a regular basis? Drink beer to we are pissed drunk and senseless? Why do we smoke cigarette after fucking cigarette? We are all addicted to something. What is your addiction?

I was just thinking of it last night. Constant stoning makes you think of unimportant things. I realise that my addiction is not actually constant over time. It fluctuates between playing hockey, playing soccer, playing my guitar, and cooking. Right now, I am having a mini-addiction to Need For Speed. I used to be addicted like many guys out there to Football Manager. And, central to these addiction is Fun and Joy that you get out of it.

We need an addiction to keep ourselves sane. The fluctuating and ever-changing times of our modern day calls for rootedness. For some sense of routine and love that would keep us from going crazy at the frenetic pace that we live in. Many times we feel so overwhelmed by the pressures of the time, it is probably because we have put aside our addiction. We put aside our addiction because we feel that the pressures of the time requires us to prioritize and make us feel that our addiction is unimportant. Upon reflection last night, it made me realise that our addiction becomes all the more important when we are under stress of deadlines/exams/whatever. It becomes our release and in effect, helps us to regain composure to do a better job.

So, guys, especially those who are under a lot of stress and feel like giving up, don't fret any longer. Do what you love. Do what you're addicted to. Draw the line when it is enough. It will make you feel much better, stronger, readier to face tough times.

I strongly believe that this is true. I am open to criticisms. This is my belief. Tag me and let me know what you think.

Have a good Friday, everyone.
Do what you're addicted to.

Thursday?!

2006-09-07T20:54:00.000+08:00

I have been so tired all day. It seems like my body is utterly exhausted. Yet, I do not know what I've been doing that has made me so drained. Of course, when you are tired, naturally you...SLEEP.

So I slept till 8am this morning, caught Rockstar Supernova: Result Show. After that, I went back to sleep till 2pm. I woke up to a great shock. There was about 5 girls sitting in front of me, not watching me lah but when I woke up they turned. They were my sister's school friends. It was a little bit startling but I was too dazed to bother. Luckily, they left like 5 minutes after I woke up. But, it is a lesson learnt. I am going to sleep in the room if I continue sleeping in the morning. Oh, I usually sleep on the couch in the living room so must move to the bedroom if I am lazy bugger like I was today.

I'm damn boring lah. If you're still reading, you're a true friend.

Did you know I actually didn't know it was thursday? I got a shock of my life when I saw my calender. It has already been over a week since my last paper?! And, I barely have covered what is needed for Prelim II. That is just about everything for International History and Literature. To say that I am freaked out is an understatement. I have only four days left. God help me. It must be done.

Reminder: Today is Thursday.

S.M.A.A.F

2006-09-07T13:46:00.000+08:00

Watch my Girlfriend and friends rock the stage at her school's Teachers' Day Concert.

Notice:

2006-09-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

WARNING!!!
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL???

GANJA

She has been caught collaborating with two acomplices from a dangerous network, 05A11. They two accomplices are codenamed JAEL & MUSA.

JAEL & MUSA

Together, they are very dangerous. They prey on an unsuspecting Birthday boy and scaring aunties working at Old Chang Kee. Be very Careful!

This is the result:

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GANJA.

I deliberately left you out of the thank you list because I wanted to do this. You scheming, cunning actor! I love you so much. Thank you for surprising me and planning a wonderful birthday. You made it awesome lah. The food was good, because it was free. Haha.. And, you paid for the movie, Devils Wear Prada. Thank you very much for all that you did and still do for me. My appreciation for you never seizes. You are my GANJA. You make me HIGH. Thank you darling.

I LOVE YOU

ps. Please do not kill me for uploading that unglam photo.

Let's Play The Blues

2006-09-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

Long walks from Hougang to Serangoon in the dead of the night is absolutely satisfying. The peace and quiet of the night can be unnerving yet, it is surreal and peaceful as well.

Last night, I walked home from Siti's house because I did not have any money to pay for a cab home. It was already midnight and the only buses in sight were going in the direction opposite of home. I was so eager to take another long walk home. It's been a while since I took long walks. It is even more rare that I walk late into the night. I used to walk long distance to absorb the scenery, not so much the sounds, around me because I frequently pon religious school. Yes, I am really a bad, bad boy. So, now you know. I used to walk from home all the way to Yio Chu Kang and Ang Mo Kio for no reason at all. Actually, there was a reason. Long walks help me to do self-talk. It helps me clear my thoughts, doubts, insecurities, weaknesses, and so on and so forth. I thoroughly enjoy these walks.

Last night, as I walked home, it was so peaceful. I could hear the crickets singing. Funnily, the heavy bag I was carrying kept thumping against my side and my long strides made crushing noises under the sand-filled pathways. It almost resembled like a Blues band. The crickets were singing the Midnight Blues and I provided the drum n' bass. It was good fun. Or, probably I was just bored and needed entertainment. All in all, it was really good.

But before you guys try it, remember our ever so sayang policeman logo ah, "Low crime doesn't mean no crime" hoh. May not be safe, later some beng come out from so dark block ask for free sex. Must do this three steps. First, look scared. Second, he come nearer you kick him in his hoo-hoo. Third, you better run screaming like a girl and knock on someone door. (This applies to guys kena approach my she-male also.) Then, you should be safe. Practice at home before you go on long walks. I practice already.

Good luck.

I Know

2006-09-05T19:15:00.000+08:00

I know I had left you out of my Thank You list. I know you did alot for me, and it seems that I didn't appreciate you. Well, if you have to know, I did not. I was meaning to do a special tribute for you with a photo journal. I love you. You really did and spent a hell of a lot for me. I love you, GANJA. You are special. Thank you. I promise as soon as you give me the pictures, i will give you the tribute you deserve.

I love you.

A Revamp

2006-09-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

Do you like the new template?

I am very, very pleased with the new layout. It suits my plain and clean style. This is, I hope, the start of a good beginning for this blog. Previously, I did not put in much effort and heart into the blog. It's time to put some soul and funk back into my blog. I would very much appreciate if you could tag and let me know what you guys are thinking. It was so sad that no one visited my blog on a regular basis(with the exception of GANJA and Naseem) in the past. I hope the tagboard will make it easier to tag your presence now. I guess part of the fault lies with me and my lack of regular posts. But, I have a sneaky-sneaky feeling there are ghosts wondering this blog. Passing by without a trace. It's so SPOOKY.

Ok, I'm talking cock. Bottom-line: TAG! Please. See, I'm being courteous and polite.

It's half past 1 on a September-holiday Tuesday. My nose is as red as cherry tomato. It's juicy too. But, I don't think you would like this juice. It's so retarded. I am like sick for 360days in a year. Leap years are a bonus because I get an extra day of good health. I seem to be a luxurious Condominium for the flu viruses. I have a feeling I provide them with Car whenever I sneeze one of them off to their next destination. I wonder what their Cash is but all in all, I think my viruses are true blue Singaporeans. They also, got chase for 3Cs. Therefore, I have well-to-do viruses leaving with me. How "lucky".

I think I should invest or buy a considerable stake in Kleenex tissues. If there are plenty of people around the globe sneezing like me, I am rich beyond my wildest dreams lah.. Then, I would not mind making friends with my well-to-do viruses. But, since I have no gain from all this, this is WAR.

Anyway, on to a brighter/nicer/cleaner topic, I am officially 6,937days old. How fantastic! Over 6 centuries(of days, of course) living in this wonderfully tiny red dot. I have done almost all things Singaporean lah. Including eating unhalal Char Kuey Teow ah. Don't pray-pray. That one is long story lah. Summary is stupid 7year old see old Chinese man look like some Bangla, i mean, Malay man because he so black..I mean brown lah. Then, I thought he malay i malay we all eat same-same food lah. No harm mah. But, wah, then kena caught by friend. Then, friend grandma working in school also scold. Malay teacher also know, then scold. Go home, motherfather also know. Never kena scold. Kena whack left-right-centre. I look like brown tiger. Damn fun lah being Singaporean right. Anyway, next year I going army. That's another collection of Singapore experience. One and only experience. So precious. 6,000 plus plus days of being proud Singh-a-purean. I don'ch know why I am so patriotic today.

I must say thanks to my pals for making my 6,935days in this world wonderful. Thank you all for surprising me together with all the aunties at Old Chang Kee near Heeren. I was stunned. Thank you Musa and Jael for planning the surprise and hanging out with me till the night. It was jolly good. Thank you Mohd Johan, Ahmad, Johan Lim and Mab for spending your saturday with me too. Oh, and not forgetting Naseem, Bryan, Jeremy, Daiwei, and Jill (oh my god! Hope I didn't forget anyone but if I did very very very sorry but thank you too) for coming out to surprise me even though it was Prelim time. I really appreciate it. Thank you for the gift everyone who contributed to the shirt and tee. I love the tee. Thank you for the Smses and that includes my dear Yogesh. She has brought a whole new meaning to Indian timing. She messaged me at 1240am on 3rd September, but I still appreciate it babe. At least you didn't forget. A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY!

I'll upload some photos as soon as I get them from GANJA...

This is for HEART

2006-09-04T09:33:00.001+08:00

KT Tunstall:Eye To The Telescope
Originally uploaded by iMatnis.

Press play...

~ Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

Love In The New Wave

2006-08-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Electrico - Love In New Wave

Killer man. Cannot describe it any other way. Superb music from one of the best local bands.

Absolute killer tune.

One Day Week

2006-08-25T11:06:00.000+08:00

In the end, I didn't go to school the rest of the week. I thought it was more efficient to stay home and revise, and rest too. Waking up early in the morning for school can be very draining for the rest of the day. So it is good to be able to wake up a little later. Work my ass off till late. No pressure of completing tutorials, even though it is just a week away from Prelims.

So what have I done?

Not much actually. I finally understand the Exchange Rate system. That is a big relief. Everyone is like, "Macro is so much easier. Exchange rate is easier lah, C'mon." I'm like just big-eyed and blur. So, I'm quite happy I understand the BASICS now. Of course, that is not enough but progress. The ultimate goal is still A levels. Yeah right...Try telling that to my mum. She will probably flip if I don't smell Cs at this stage. I feel pressured. I think the others are going at lightning pace. I suspect that I'm goin to be trampled by their grades. Look at it this way lah...Jill has finish revising EVERYTHING. Now she is revising it again. AGAIN!!! I'm like barely finish one round of revision. It's just a scary prospect.

However, I'm not letting it break me. Simply because like the Sinatra song, "I'm doing it my way". Haha..It's quite funny that one of the readings used that phrase to describe Gorbachev's policies. Ok, I'm digressing. Well, no point getting worried about how others are going to fare. At this stage, everyone wants that A and B. Who wants to settle for Ds and Es? Settling for such grades will get us nowhere. The sad reality of the JC curriculum. Hence, we all have to pursue our own means to achieve what we need. Therefore, no worries mate. I'm doing it my way.

Ok, enough about work. My dear girlfriend is downstairs dancing with her friends. They're having a full-dress rehersal for their Teachers' Day performance later. Yes, they skip school too. If any of you are Millenia Institute teachers, which I highly doubt you are, please close your eyes.

I actually have nothing to write but I just felt like writing. Oh...Sadly, I actually wanted to go watch Womad this year. It is this weekend, but the urgency of revision for Prelims NEXT week outweighs the fun of Womad. I'm going to miss those drumbeats and crazy preformance. I have never been to Womad. I did want to go last year but didn't have anyone to go with. Now, have to skip this week. Sad man.

On a brighter note, I have music on my blog now. Unfortunately, if you want to listen to it, you have to press play. That's abit crap. If you guys can help me out, please leave a comment PLEASE. For now, I'll keep it fresh by changing the track every couple of days/week depending on how fast I think it needs to be changed aka I-Am-Sick-Of-Hearing-It-Played-On-My-Blog.

Hope you guys are lepaking in your corners.

Happy Anniversary!

2006-08-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

Happy 26 Months, GANJA! Thank you for such a wonderful day. It was lots of fun. Thank you for letting me cook for you, although it was a little too buttery than I wanted. Thank you for tahaning me the last 2years and 2months(not including the break-up). Really hope you enjoyed today. Because...

I love you.

Inkblot - Boey's Journey

2006-08-20T11:38:00.000+08:00

Ok, I must make this clear first. It is true that my new Inkblots do resemble a little bit like Boey with less conflict, and hopefully emoness. But, it's similarity is probably due to the fact that I'm studying his work at this present moment. So, I tend to develop ideas from there and present my state of mind. Like i said, these are drips of my thoughts colouring the blank white paper.

Boey's Journey
I don't need a ticket
To see young children begging by the streets
And Art as a livelihood for the impoverish.

I don't need India or Greece
To know that We all need a release
From the eternal loop of Mundane Singapore.

I don't need to live in the groovy 70s
Before the changes that resemble
Tall rectangular blocks, we call Flats.

I just need the works of poets,
Artists and writers,
To give the intricacies
And fragility of Life.

With them,
I feel a great sense of satisfaction,
Like a drink that quenches.
I discover the losses of Home
Rocked by the Avalanche
Of time and progress.

What's Your Marginal Productivity?

2006-08-20T11:31:00.000+08:00

I think mine is a flat gradient in the negative. Day by day, I do not gain. I constantly lose more knowledge than I absorb. With merely 7 days left to prepare for the first and only Dress rehersal before the As, I am far, far, far away from optimal preparation.

I must step another gear or risk falling behind my classmates, and far far far far far far far far behind those in the other colleges/institutes. And, I don't mean the ranked top JCs.

Just like in Hockey, when it is crunch time, I MUST bring out the "A" game. 7 days to consolidate two years worth of Economics and Southeast Asian History. God help me, it CAN be done.

Plush

2006-08-20T11:14:00.000+08:00

And I feel that time's a wasted go
So where ya goin' till tomorrow?
And I see that these are lies to come
Would you even care?

And I feel it
And I feel it

Where ya going for tomorrow?
Where ya goin' with the mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?

And I feel, so much depends on the weather
So is it raining in your bedroom?
And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray
Would you even care?

And I feel it
And she feels it

Where ya going for tomorrow?
Where ya goin' with the mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?

When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it

by The Stone Temple Pilots

I must thank Jonathan Leong for singing this song. If he didn't, I would have never known what the title of the song was. It's been a long time since I heard this song. I absolutely love it! I'm going to learn to play it on my guitar. All the best to me.

An Afternoon With Boey / Inkblot - Ostracized

2006-08-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

An AVA theatre full of young Literature students of no more than 19years of age. Most of them brimming with anticipation on a hot, sticky afternoon of the prospect of being in the company of a poet whose series of poems they were studying (and about to sit for an examination regarding the poems in no less than 3 weeks). A poet described as a "young promising poet" when hist first book was published back in the 90s. Although his talk was not the most insightful in the academic sense, it painted a wonderful portrait or rather, a collage of his journey as a person who was deeply enriched by Keats, to the poet he is in present day.

A side point, his talk today is one of the most monotonous and dreary talks that I have ever been to, apart from the glimpses of attention grabbing recollections such as "going by the longkang to smoke and drink some beers, which I don't think is allowed today" and "you are free to leave if you don't want to hear me read my poems. I used to just walk out of lectures when they were very boring". Overall, he was very monotonous which made Mr Smith seem very entertaining, which he is actually, although not when he was covering Long Day's Journey Into Night last year. I digress too far...

Despite the dullness and the relatively soft microphone, I found the talk deeply, deeply enriching. As one who loves poetry myself, I was just captivated by the very presence of this poet. Possibly because I have never been in the company of any poet before. I was just captivated, and there is no other word that I can describe it. It made me want to write poetry again. Yet, I do not feel that my pieces are worthy of being called poems. I do not think I have craft or technique. I just let my brain drip its thoughts and stories on to a blank paper. The words colour the whiteness of the paper away, some are lyrical but others are not. Would you consider them poetry?

I shall just leave them to be known as Inkblots. Now, I will present to you the first Inkblot(considered the first because it is the start of a new collection)...

Ostracized
Classroom setting.
Eyes fixed on your every movement.
Moment of numbing chillness,
You think you are in the Arctics,
Yet, you're in the sunnier side of the world.
The chimpanzees and orang utans,
with their big dumb grins and mocking pouts,
must have been released from the Gardens of Mandai.
Your body is uneasy from all the pressure,
Even, your Hellos, leave, clutching at air,
The sound...nothing, broken, not there
Like a badly scratched vinyl, priceless yet
Society-deemed worthless.
It is the 1st Day in school,
Over and over again.

Siti and A Giraffe

2006-08-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

Siti and A Giraffe
Originally uploaded by iMatnis.

I think this photo of you is damn cute...

Well, I just wanted to apologise for being such a pain in your rear end. I hope you do know that I'm just really concerned for you. I want to ensure that you'll be happy in the end. You won't have any regrets whatsoever. I love you so much! And, this is but the little I can do to help.

I know you CAN do it. There's nothing that you can't do or do not know. Everything is within you. Do you believe me? It's true. It just takes some effort to maximise them. I have the utmost confidence that if you start to think and be a bit more positive, the grades you desire is not beyond you. Believe and Enjoy what you do.

Well, I did message you to tell you that I was going to go to bed. Yet, I'm here. Just wanted to be a nagging "bitch" somemore. Ok, I had my fun. Goodnight!

ps. Don't mind me if I look moody/stone/tak-nak layan nowsadays. It's that pre-exam phase where a lot of cramming is in session. Information overload means a blur-looking, blank soul wandering around.

pps. Saya cintamu byk sekali.

Daggerpoint

2006-08-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

The tip of the weapon is sharp, dangerous, lethal. Time feels like it is stabbing again and again. Hours and days pass like seconds. All moves so quickly like a cheetah chasing his meat. Temporarily blinded by the sheer speed. Lost in the labyrinth, confusion spins like a typhoon, time time time fast going away. The weapon is plunged deep. Temporarily blinded by the sheer speed. Knowing not of what has happened, knowing not of anything at all. I am a handicap. Among giants, I stand a midget. Their wisdom of the King at the snap of their fingers. Blankness at the snap of my eyes. As the light dims to the point of nothing. As That time draws nearer...12days or bust.

Will be able to draw the equation, Regrets = None?

I've Got My Eyes On You

2006-08-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Bob Marley Ltd Edition Les Paul
Originally uploaded by iMatnis.

I so want this baby strap to my left shoulder as I play rhythms...

T.G.I.F

2006-08-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

I never really felt T.G.I.F in the truest sense till today. The school week is over. Al'hamdulillah. It was just an uplifting feeling when the school bell rung and Mrs Tan said, "Bye everybody". It was like the huge stone weighing down on my shoulders/chest/head everything just lifted up into the bright blue sky above, disintegrated by the heat of the sun. I could smile. I could feel happy. HYPER. Like I never been all this week. I felt fantastic and no longer sick. THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY, BABES.

I'm so happy! I'm going for Rapture and enjoy the Dance although I got pretty shite seats. But, I'm happy because I can't turn my attention away from the books and let my soul be uplifted by the graceful motions of Musa and the Saints Dancers, and Kelly Anne Tay too! Happy Sha La La...

I want to get Gnarls Barkley on my iPod. I love his album. It's just groovy.
But, MAYBE I'M CRAZY... POSSIBLY!

Well, I want to apologise to everyone for emo explosion yesterday. Very difficult to refrain the emotions and say NO NO NO NO Don't Be Phunkin' Emo! It just had to come out or I'll go insane. But, now I'm Crazy!

T.G.I.F T.G.I.F T.G.I.F T.G.I.F T.G.I.F

I can now spend my saturday and sunday evening with HEART. And, the rest of it with family. Of course, the studying must go on... But, I want to GO CRAZY first.

InRetroSpec.
Grooving forward, yeah baby yeah!

Be My Ginseng

2006-08-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

I wonder how they do it? Sitting all alone in the library/cafe/in a quiet corner. Alone. Just with their books. Just with pen and paper. No one around them to have a relaxing conversation with after a ardous assignment or a challenging concept. They sit alone for hours.

I can't do it. I really can't. Especially when everyone else in my sight has someone next to them. Has friends who can joke with them when times get too tough. I feel so...alone. Empty. I wonder sometimes what did I do wrong? Why do I always have to go up to people to talk to them? When I don't, why am I invincible? It's just perplexing. Frustrating.

I'm just so tired. And SICK. Still sick. My productivity level is low beyond belief. 6 hours of free time today in school. All I could complete is annotating my PC assignment. Note, ANNOTATING. That's it. My attempts to write an Econs essay just didn't seem right. I couldn't present my ideas. Everything seemed so fragmented. I felt so miserable. So, I figured it must be my brain cells had reached saturation points for economics and needed a change of subject. I tried to do my history tutorial. That was a disaster as well. I just couldn't write.

Today was an absolute disaster of a day.

Thank God, spending time with Nurudin and Smita kept me sane. After school was a much better time for me. Studied in the library with Nurudin and had lunch. Went to the mandatory economics lecture, and I stayed in school to try and finish my homework with Smita and her bunch of weird friends. At least, that made my day a little bit more light-hearted and manageable.

It made me think of something...
the people I used to hang out with seem to make this an obligation rather than a friendship. It don't feel right to cling on to this anymore. They(whoever they are) can do whatever they like and hang out with whoever they want. I'm not really significant as I though I was. Damn this is getting long. And it kind of reminds me of the time before. Nevermind. Unlike that time, I've come to terms with it. I'm not hoping for much anymore.

It's ok lah...tinggal berapa bulan lagi kan. Dah nak habis. Boleh relek dengan KAWAN-KAWAN aku yang betul-betul KAWAN-KAWAN aku. Baik ah.

Siti, kita keluar tengok Click hari selasa yak? Kita pergi lepas skolah yeah! Tengok wayang yeah! Yeah! Mesti relek sikit lah. Kepala dah pusing. Tak bagus lah. Aku rindumu.

iMatnis BOLEH!

Essay! Essay! Essay!

2006-08-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

I'm resisting the urge to burst out/whine/complain/get angry. I'm going to think positive and say that 7 Economics essays in 3 days is going to be a tall order. I have not included the work that we have to do for Ram's tutorial and remedial due on Friday as well. With the amount of homework, where do one find the time to truly revise? It is really, in my view, ridiculous to expect us to complete so much homework while also, keeping to our revision schedule. We have 3 weeks left to revise but the ton of homework is a little bit much.

I know that there are two arguments against my view. I will make the concession that by doing the homework, I am, in fact, revising my work. Also, homework is time-management practise for us as well. Therefore, these arguments point to the fact that homework actually prepares us for the exams. However, I am having trouble finding enough time to revise huge topics that essay questions encompass, which requires the revision to be staggered across a few days. After all, we are doing 3 subjects and we need to spend equal time on each subject. Or at least I have to. It is extremely difficult for me to revise and do homework.

I am so worried I am going to under-prepared for the prelims. Time is really short. I want to get my As and Bs. Worry. Worry. Worry.

Well, I have no choice. This is the predicament that I am in. I have to work with it. A positive mentality is necessary. It can and will be done.

Kawan-kawans, I guess you realise that my head is filled with mostly school/exam-related stuff nowadays. I feel it isn't really me. I don't like to talk about this crap. Yet, I must. I need to vent and release. It helps me remain sane. So, I hope you don't mind the topics that I write about. I would love to write about other stuff, but must see my mood. Now, mood filled with tension and weariness. Penat tau(or tired know). So sorry my friends.

Do comment! So miserable only had one person commenting so far. I am too lazy to have a tag board. I think keeping to the comment board would be something different for a change. Comment leh.

I want to play my guitar...

Why Am I Not Sleeping?

2006-08-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

Oppurtunities to get proper sleep are few nowadays. The heat that we face to complete assignments, study for tests, revise for exams are showing no signs of cooling. The process is a tiring and painful one. The teachers are stressing the importance of the period we are in now.

You better spend every waking moment to study!

Wise words by Mr Yoong. I felt inspired and motivated to press on studying despite the weariness of my body and disintegration of every single molecule of immunity within me. My flu is now intertwined with the amount of pressure I am in. The more pressurised/stressed I feel, the worse my flu is. Stress, the doctor's diagnosis of my illness.

Me: So doctor what can you prescribe to me to recover?
Doc: Get plenty of rest.
Me: Oh, but how? There's so much undone and time is really, really short!
Doc: You must rest your body. Or else, you will never recover and all that studying will be useless.

What am I doing awake?!

Current Addiction: Indoor Living

2006-08-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

Outside the side lines failing harder than the modern
Stars of made-for-TV crime
Indoor living in cardboard confines counts for very little
when safe is just a state of mind
I fell off the side lines long ago
I have no occupation
I’m just wasted for the weekend scene
So don’t me ask me out
Don’t make me try
‘Cause I don’t wanna let you
I don’t wanna

I can't complain
If I don’t know how
It's a sad, sad song, with no story line
I fall asleep in my rented room
It’s not much to talk about
I got so much to talk about
I don’t wanna let you
I don’t wanna let you down

Last call for societal knockdowns
measure my endeavors
loosely based on someone else’s song
Melodrama and a bottle of wine, yea
Here’s to self expression
Here’s to every one thats dead.

Bring back the days that fell behind
I’m all wasted conversations in the corner of an empty room
So don’t ask me out
Don’t make me try
Cause I don’t wanna let you
I don’t wanna

I can’t complain
If I don’t know how
It’s a sad, sad song with no story line
I fall asleep in my rented room
It’s not much to talk about
I’ve got so much to talk about
But I don’t wanna let you
I don’t wanna let you down

Outside the side lines failing harder than the modern
Stars of made-for-TV crime.
so don’t ask me out don’t make me try
Cause I'm just gonna let you
I'm just gonna let you down
By Motion City Soundtrack.

Give it a listen. It takes me to a far away land... Very relaxing.

Pile on Piles!

2006-07-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

4 hours. The time I have left to complete one GP comprehension, one GP paragraph assignment, one Chaucer assignment, two Econs essay assignments, four Econs essay outlines, and one Nuclear Arms Race tutorial. Cool eh? Wait! There's more... I have to study for a Vietnam War test too. With the excpetion of the Nuclear Arms Race tutorial, everything else is due tomorrow.

Wonderful!

Yo Momma...

2006-07-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

My aunt is beside me telling my mother about her experience with one of my sister's friend. Something about "Yo Momma..." It reminds me of the MTV production of the same name. It was hilarious as these Americans show no disregard for the any mothers in the world. Hurling insults upon insults to be the best trash-talker in the State. Now, that is cool and pure entertainment. Hey, a joke is a joke. I know there are limits to everything but I hate limits. Such restriction and conformity is a bore. It's good to embrace those who test the waters. It sorts of brings me back to the SAS days. The good ol' days where everyone was just spouting trash and always fun in class.

Your father is a doughnut lah...

JC life is worlds apart. It's like a foreign land which I have unknowingly conform to. I willingly acclimatized myself to the JC environment. The stress, the climate of seriousness and jokes within limits. Watch what you say because this girl or that girl is PMS-ing. The sense that people around you are increasingly self-centred and only do what they want to. No camaraderie, no close bonds like what you see in other classes/environments/lifes. I'm being harsh, perhaps. It is probably because I find myself without a "clique", and I'm not close to anybody in class. At least, I have some sense of belonging else where. But, it will be over soon. 4months more. My stay in St Andrew's JC will end. I guess contrary to the popular belief, two years in the pre-U curriculum is just nice. Anything more is a pain in the ass.

How did I digress all the way here? I'm not unhappy. I'm happy being part of 05A11. At least, I've made friends with wonderful individuals. Maybe, the fault lies with me. I never made the effort. My apologies. I'm such a conflicted character. Not of the degree of Boey Kim Cheng's poetry. It must be the build-up of tiredness and stress. This is relaxing. At least, it is all out now.

I'm going to visit the youtube website. Nurudin told me of an interesting hitler video. I'll try to put up here.

Goodnight.

YellOutLoud - My Medicine

2006-07-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

You are my glass of water
To help me swallow this bitter pill
You make me feel better
You make me feel.

No one else can save me
I wouldn't know what to do
If I was a lonely
man, and this is true.

I thank GOD that you're here
Every single day
I hold on to you dearly
I won't feel so afraid.

You are my medicine
Give me two tablespoon full
Be my glass of water
You make my life taste wonderful.

YellOutLoud - Empty

2006-07-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

Im an alien in my own country
A shadow in a lightless night
A figure no one ever sees.

Look at me just this once
ASK me what I think
Give me just one chance.

Im a victim of being silent
Not one fallen to a predator
Im a prey for being unreliant.

A dark quiet day
Pouring from the grey clouds
I try to keep misery at bay.

YellOutLoud - To HEART

2006-07-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

You are special because you can think
Of all of the wonderful things
That life can bring.

You are special because you can do impossible,
You can make yourself believe in the improbable,
And learn that all is Possible.

You are special because I know you are
I know you can go on very far,
Just THINK like you are A-Star!

Hello.

2006-07-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

This is my first entry.

This is my space to rant and release. I attempt to write good english and some occasions, I dive into the realms of poetry too. It is an outlet for all that bugs me, and gives me something to do on days when I'm bored.

I will try my best to update as frequent as I can. But, if I don't update in weeks...
RELAX LAH!

Well, that's the point of this blog. It is my space to RELAX/RELEK. I will do my best to entertain you, my friends who I will now refer to as KAWAN-KAWAN.

So, Enjoy Kawan-kawan.
Relax.